Saturday, November 5, 2011


Last Thursday we met at Jack's to start preparing for Christmas.  We removed all of the Halloween and Fall decorations.  So far, five Christmas trees have been put up and knowing Patricia, 38 more are coming in any day.

All thumbs, that I am, I attempted to help by giving Misty a hand with the largest Christmas tree.  Putting it together was a little discombobulated due to the fact that I've never mastered the "righty tighty, lefty lucy" concept of tightening the tree into the tree stand.  As Misty was 'righty tightying' I was 'lefty lucying' and around and around we went.  Finally, I stepped back and Misty got the booger upright and tight.

Patricia yelled from the front of Jack's that she wanted the "bows" (East Texas for Boughs) fluffed.  I assumed, as only an old gal can, that she wanted the 'bows' uncrunched and tree looking.  Misty and I were, at this time, laying on the floor "fluffing" the lower 'bows'.  Unnoticed by me, we went around and around again.  In my pea brain, "fluffing" was not what I was doing.  I was straightening not fluffing.
Fluffing, I have learned, is an artwork mastered only by anal retentive people who put up more than one tree in their home.  Fluffing is more like a scrunch.  I have drawn an example below:

Note how the 'bows' are different.  One example is nice and tree-like, the other is full of fluff.  This old gal has learned a new way to put up an artificial Christmas tree.  From now on, I'll throw my tree out of the attic into it's stand and call it good.  No more unnecessary work, now I'll have more time for my blackberry merlot.

By the time 8:00 pm rolled around, I was dead tired from fluffing and had to go home.  The younger of the Texas Junkin' Ladies remained and I'm sure fluffed until the roosters started crowing.

Tuesday, November 1, 2011


The Texas Junkin' Ladies were blown away with Pittsburg's Halloween Night.  This was our first time for Jack's to give out candy to all the ghosts, goblins, spider men and princesses in Pittsburg.  We thought we had more than enough candy for everyone and were we ever wrong.  We had to close the door when we gave out candy to 500 kids and there were that many more lining the streets.  This was so much fun that next year will be even bigger and better because Jack's will have enough candy to satisfy 1,000 kids.

One of our own won first place in their age group for the best costume.  Not only was Tony the scariest werewolf in Pittsburg, he helped give out candy giving the old ladies a good breather. 

Tony with is parents, Ron on the motorcycle and Misty manning the candy bowl

Misty cleaned up for this photo shoot.  Below is how she really looks.

We had all kinds of Trick or Treaters, but there were a couple of old gals that were out for the chocolate.  When you wear dentures, you're too old to Trick or Treat.  I don't care what your costume looks like, when one reaches for the candy and they are not wearing plastic witches' hands, but their hands look like plastic witches' hands, they are too old for Trick or Treating.

After the trick or treating the Texas Junkin' Ladies gave me a birthday party.  I was given my very own bottle of that world famous Blackberry Merlot.  Judy said she paid 40 cents more this this brand than what we are used to.  That makes it $4.69 for the magnum liter.  It may be cheap, but it's smooth!  I can drink lots of it before I get on the table with a lampshade on my head.

Pat give me one of her wonderful 'Exploding Boxes' filled with CHOCOLATE.  That's when I died and went to heaven.  I wonder if the other Texas Junkin' Ladies noticed that I didn't pass out the chocolate.  Some things are meant, not to be shared.

From Patricia I got a bottle of beer brewed in Austin, Texas.  It was a Rye India Ale called the "Witchmaker"  Trust me the alcohol content of the Witchmaker had me trying to get up on the coffee table right there in the middle of Jack's.  Thank goodness Charlie was there to keep my clothes on.

Misty gave me two packages of straws.  Wasn't that nice of Misty?

Judy, the witch that she is, gave me a genuine vintage Schupp's SANI-STRAW-MISER. 

(Misty, note the straws)

One might think this was an unusual gift, but to a gal that can't drink coke out of a glass without the coke going up her nose and out her tear ducts, a Schupp's SANI-STRAW-MISER is the cat's meow. 

Until next time, which means we need a Junkin' trip real bad!